Bible Polygyny

And do not be drunk with wine, in which is excess, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that He might present it to Himself as the glorious church, without spot or wrinkle or any such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph 5:18-28

Whoever finds a wife finds good,
and gets favor from Jehovah.


When the truth of polygamy is embraced by a single man living in a monogamous culture and he feels led to live the lifestyle, what options does he have?

When the truth of polygamy finds its way into the heart of a monogamously married man and he feels strongly burdened to live the lifestyle, what options does he have?

This is certainly a very brief introduction to the options available since circumstances may vary but in any man the heart full of strong desire to know our God will strengthen him for a loving pursuit of them all. If we men are not hungry to know the Lord and to facilitate the same hunger in our spouses, then monogamy is not even an option.

Marriage is a responsibility; an obligation to fulfill the roles God has given us. The husband is to be the spiritual head of the wife (Eph.5:23) and if we men have no idea what that means, then put marriage thoughts aside until we have much more than an idea.

There are no options for those men who are spiritually weak and impotent. Wives are not to provide leadership in spiritual matters, the husbands have that responsibility and if you leave or intend to leave such things to your wife, then stay single or monogamous until you take stock, recognize and study to assume that obligation. There are too many sick marriages and divorce in the Christian community and most of the blame rests on the husbands.

When considering the options available to the man seeking a family or an extension thereof, it helps us to remember that the marriage ceremony as we understand it is not a true reflection of Biblical marriage. Modern marriage involves the Church and the State. A permit to marry is granted by the State and the service is conducted and controlled by the Church or the State through a marriage ceremony at church or by a registered marriage celebrant.

Up until the 17th Century, marriage was not the prerogative of the church. In the 1600s, the Catholic Church decreed that marriage was a sacrament and had to be conducted by a priest and monogamous marriage vows were introduced. Try finding marriage vows, especially monogamous marriage vows in the Bible.
Psa 50:14  Offer to God thanksgiving; and pay your vows to the Most High;

The State became involved when marriage was made a legal requirement in the early 1900s.

With these facts before us let us consider some of the options for the single and married man considering polygamy.

The Single Man.
Honesty with potential partners is of the first order whether a single or married man. If we canít be honest with our loved ones with this subject how can we be honest in anything else. Love without truth is sentimentality, truth without love is brutality therefore we should be truthful in love in all things.

The first thing a single man should resolve is this that IF he intends to make vows at his marriage they should never be monogamous. We believe Christians should leave vows out of marriages.

For this reason, any young man courting should be very clear and upfront about his marriage views very early. Naturally he will need to study the subject considerably so that he can thoroughly explain from Scripture the divine sanction for such a marriage option. We are of the conviction that the subject is not as horrifying as we imagine it to be to those ladies unfamiliar with it.

Naturally any couple seriously dating after polygamy is accepted as a possibility will be discussing every aspect of marriage that such a possibility will include. Be careful not to make any vows or promises as to marriage structure during this process.

Pre marriage relationships give ample opportunity for the Christian single man to demonstrate to any potential spouse his capacity to be the spiritual head the Word of God requires him to be. In other words he will be praying with her frequently, opening and expounding the Word to her and loving her as Christ loved the church. If a single man can do these as part of the courtship, then her confidence and trust in him will grow as will her love for him and any marriage structure variation that might come by mutual agreement will not present any fears for her.

The Married Man.
He might have a more difficult path, though, by the grace of God, not an impossible one.

How he has loved his wife will determine her reactions when he brings up the subject for the first time. That husband who has loved her like Christ loved the church will enjoy a calmer objective response since his wife has great trust in him and her love for him has been nurtured and flourished. In other words, the husband he has been sets the environment, not any promise of the husband he will be.

First of all he must be frank with his wife from the beginning of his studies. Leaving the subject till later for fear of terrifying her or worse still, losing her, is not an option. By then he has grown in conviction, she is yet to begin to consider it. Grow together in the knowledge of plural marriage, let there be no haste in any marriage.

When his wife asks does this mean he wants to take another wife, his response will be that such a move is a serious one and he would never consider anything without her input and he certainly would not force anything on her. Then discussion might follow as how such a family would benefit everyone.

From the beginning he will assure her that polygamy is not a condemnation of her; not a hint that she is inadequate or deficient in anyway. We have been culturally indoctrinated to think we are only loved when we are loved exclusively and this lie must be exposed carefully and in love. God Himself has more than one family or fatherhood;
For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom every family in Heaven and on earth is named, Eph 3:14-15

When a wife enjoys emotional and spiritual security she is ready to discuss anything and is never forced into submitting to her husband in the Lord.

Patience is a necessity. Let the man who pushes his wife beware of the dangers. Ladies take longer to consider change especially the possibilities such a concept might suggest and prayer must be included in any discussion as it should be in everything.

Lots of Bible reading and teaching about polygamy is essential and the husband must be conversant with the Word of God for this to take place. In other words, lots of study required on the husbandís part.

If the wife is open to it, the husband might like to invite, not force her to join polygamous friendly groups. Meeting with pro polygamy groups is an incredible facilitator to learning growth and acceptance of the marriage option.

What if the wife absolutely refuses to consider polygamy?
If they have vowed monogamous vows at the wedding, his hands are tied. The only way the family can be expanded under such circumstances is by mutual decision.  There is nothing he can do, save resort to further prayer and teaching. Since most vows are monogamous, there is no other option.

What if by some chance, the vows were not monogamous?
The husband still has no option since love does not force anything into a marriage. The husband and the wife are the engine room of the family, no expansion of the family can be a forced one sided affair, this is not expansion it is abuse.

Finally, deception is of the devil and that man who goes behind his girlfriend or wifeís back to date or flirt with other women is outside the will of God and waste and destruction will surely follow. The harm so inflicted is beyond measure for all parties.

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Please see this website for some advice as on meeting potential sister wives.

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